“Surrender to what “is.” Say “yes” to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” -Eckhart Tolle
I struggled with binge eating too. and that’s exactly why I do what I do today. I help people repair their relationship with food and their body so they can stop binge eating. I designed my program to be exactly what I wish I had in my own recovery.
I remember one moment in my recovery that really changed everything for me. Let’s go back in time, shall we?
It was March 2015 and I had just tried a “pseudo-recovery” approach to stop binge eating. This included following an approach to eating that promised I could eat as much as I wanted without gaining weight. Sounds a little too good to be true, right? Exactly.
After months of continued binges through this approach, I finally discovered Intuitive Eating. (The missing piece was not intuitive eating, keep reading). I read the book and it just made so much sense to me. I knew I couldn’t just be an intuitive eater tomorrow though, I had to heal first. I had an uncontrollable hunger and a fear of weight gain that kept my binge eating cycles in full swing. Through reading about Intuitive Eating, plus a lot of sleepless nights deep in google searches, I finally had my answer that changed my entire perspective of recovery.
Anything was worth it to stop the binge eating.
The weight gain, the facing of fear foods, the uncertainties. It WAS worth it. Now, I say this with a lot of privilege, I don’t know what it’s like to live in a larger body. I’ve never had to face the stigma the world throws at people in bigger bodies. So even in my insecurities and barriers, my weight gain was never and would never be as scary as someone who already faces weight stigma.
But speaking from only the lived experience that I have, any and all weight gain was worth it to finally be free from my food and body obsession. To finally stop binge eating.
I will go into more detail about how I made peace with food and my body in other blog posts, but really what this post is about is a missing piece that really completed my recovery. It wasn’t something I discovered through Intuitive Eating or any other food freedom book I found.
It was learning how to live in the moment.
I first started diving into spirituality and learning to be present in each moment from the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Through this book I learned to take every moment as it was, without worrying too much about the past or trying too hard to control my future. To just be.
“The present moment holds the key to liberation. But you cannot find the present moment as long as you are your mind.”
Learning to become present to each and every moment through this book, meditation, and practice was not only helpful to my food freedom journey but also to my life. I learned to stay in the NOW. I started to view my pain and suffering from a different lens. I learned to let go of some control of my life, and find a peaceful level of acceptance for things that were out of my control.
“Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”
Becoming present to here-and-now allowed me to become curious to my circumstances rather than judgmental (which if you’re a client of mine, you hear me say “stay curious” all the time). If I binged, I would wonder why it happened and take an action step in this moment, rather than dwelling on the shame and guilt over it having happened in the first place. It happened, I accepted it, I made a choice on how to move forward, and moved on. I learned from it. I stayed curious.
The same mindset helped me immensely with my body image. I stayed in there here-and-now. I stopped comparing myself to the past or stressing about my future body (the best I could) and learned to just find peace in my here-and-now body. By no longer trying to manipulate my future, I took care of my body in each and every moment for what it was. I was able to just give myself what I needed to take care of myself in each and every moment, physically and emotionally, and stop worrying about what “future Marissa” might need.
“When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life. Nobody can even have an argument with you, no matter how hard he or she tries. You cannot have an argument with a fully conscious person.”
This mindset completely transformed my recovery. I became a much more patient, compassionate person towards myself. I learned acceptance and peace. I learned to just be.
So on top of all your recovery books, I would encourage you to add “The Power of Now” to that list. I haven’t read it in a few years, it may be time I pick it up again!
Review and Edited by Kaitlyn Allen MS, MEd, MS, RD
