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Marissa Kai Miluk, MS, RDN, LD | Founder of Behind The Binge
high school
Out of high school, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actress. Unfortunately, the industry that is so filled with toxic beauty standards and juice cleanses got me first. I spent years distracted by a developing eating disorder that I lost the passion for the arts I once had. My pursuits became less about my craft and more about my body. I spiraled into a destructive restrict/binge/purge cycle.
los angeles
Until one evening I hit my breaking point. I went to what should have been a fun LA app launch, but instead was in a dress too tight obsessing over the macaron table, ended by bingeing alone in my apartment. That night I decided enough was enough and I wanted to take my life back.
a cry for help
Prior to this breaking point, I had dropped hints to many professionals that I needed help. I was always disregarded because I didn’t fit the stereotypical “look” of having an eating disorder. I never felt “sick enough” to advocate for myself, and these inclinations were only confirmed by the disregard I received when voicing concern to health professionals (my doctor, a dietitian, etc). So at this breaking point, I realized I was in this alone. I spend that night researching, reading, watching YouTube videos, and coming up with a mental game plan of how I was going to do this.
LONG STORY SHORT
I visited a bulimia support group a few times a month, and while it helped me feel not so alone, it didn’t give me much direction. I still felt so uncertain along my journey and had to figure too much out for myself.
Through all of this, I realized that nobody should have to do this alone. I wanted to create a program that I felt like I needed through my entire recovery. That’s when I decided my new passion lied in helping people cultivate a healthful relationship with food. I felt more fulfilled sharing my story online and giving advice where I could. At this point though, all I had was my personal experiences and no real qualifications. That’s when I decided to go back to school to become a dietitian. I left LA, moved back home to West Virginia, and started at Marshall University.
I now reside in Greenville, SC but practice virtually as a Registered Dietitian with people worldwide.
A little about me…
I graduated from Marshall University Summa Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science in Dietetics. I completed 1200 hours of practical experience for the dietetic internship through Marshall’s distance dietetic internship and went on to finish my Masters of Science in Dietetics through Marshall as well (go herd!)
I practice aligned with the Intuitive Eating principles and the Health at Every Size® approach.
I own and practice as the lead dietitian for Behind The Binge / MaKai Nutrition LLC. I have worked with hundreds of people struggling with binge eating through our group coaching and private coaching programs. I’m also a recovered binge eater myself!
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Through the end of my high school years and into college I was in an abusive relationship that really wrecked my confidence and self worth. At my lowest and going through a major transition in life was when I fell victim to diet culture the hardest.
I was told I wasn’t thin or attractive enough which fueled the fire for over exercising and doing cleanses, which led to a diet of mainly protein shakes, fiber packets and vegetables. This was absolutely unsustainable and once I got to college I would binge on what was called “fat bar” at my college in the cafeteria. If that name doesn’t scream “guilt and shame” I am not sure what does.
I was surrounded by people just about constantly in dorm life, but felt completely isolated because of my own emotional trauma that I did not share and did not know how to process any other way.
After finally freeing my mind from that toxic relationship completely and feeling supported from people around me (who still had no idea that part of my life). I was able to gain enough courage to secretly get help for my trauma. I still felt an extreme sense of shame for my situation that I carried in other aspect of my life including my relationship with food.
At this point I still had no idea what intuitive eating even was and was studying dietetics, which academically is also very engulfed in diet culture. I was not able to notice my hunger cues, but I was more comfortable with fueling my body. I feared the gym, but slowly was able to move for enjoyment with friends without feeling out of control.
My senior research project was on the impact of childhood feeding behaviors on emotional eating (inspired by my own fear of emotional eating.) This is where I finally was introduced through research to the concept of intuitive eating and a weight neutral approach to health. This was mind blowing. I spent my whole college career learning how to calculate calorie needs and track macros by sight, as well as medical nutrition therapy which also very much focused on weight “management.”
After being shot down in front of my peers by the director of my program when introducing intuitive eating as a solution to solve the feeling of being out of control around food for EVERYONE, my mind was spinning with the new information I was still trying to process for my own life.
I completed my internship program through Marshall University, where I was lucky enough to be surrounded by many people who were way ahead of me on their path with intuitive eating and weight inclusive care. I went from book to book working on gaining knowledge and relearning care through a different lense. Looking back on my own experience, I wish I would have had these resources sooner! I could not see how much of my time and mental energy was being wasted by thoughts and feelings consumed by food and the number on the scale until I was well into my own recovery, but it was such a radical change for me.
I now have a passion to help people break free from the diet cycle and gain time and energy back to pour into the life that they so desperately want and deserve!
Hello! My name is Morgan, I am a registered dietitian who’s passionate about helping people find more freedom and joy in their lives by healing their relationship with food. I strongly believe that food is meant to be enjoyed, even though we have been conditioned to feel guilty enjoying it. The problem is most of us have been dieting for so long it can be hard to stop. I work with a non-diet, weight neutral approach to help you face the source of your food fears and gain back the body control that dieting has made you feel distant from.
How do you learn to trust your body again? Great question! I would love to work with you and help you ditch dieting for good and gain freedom in your food choices so you can make the most out of your life!
