The all-or-nothing mentality is binary thinking that simplifies complex ideas. For example good/bad, right/wrong, always/never. This can contribute to binge eating.
This black and white thinking feels safe to us because it makes us feel like we know the rules and exactly what to do. The problem is that this mentality does not leave room flexibility, change and really being human. At the end of the day we are not robots and our bodies are made up of not only complex systems, but also complex emotions. Instead this becomes a pass/fail mentality which results in the all too common guilt and shame with food and our relationship with our bodies.
This black or white thinking also creates distance between our mind and body. We are listening to guidelines instead of internal cues for hunger and satisfaction.
So how does this thinking lead to bingeing?
This disconnect creates a restrictive mindset that can make you feel out of control or unable to trust your body with food because you have been following guidelines on how to fuel yourself. Often this appears as eating something considered “bad” and then immediately feeling like the whole day is ruined and eating whatever other “bad” foods they can and promising to start over tomorrow. The problem with this is it becomes a cycle of this behavior that is accompanied by shame and guilt. Typically until the source of this is dealt with it will increasingly become worse and more frequent.
There are many causes to binge eating, but this mentality is very common and only adds to the frustration.
Getting past this diet mentality takes a lot of mental work. You have to remember that you have probably been told there is good/bad food since you were in elementary school or maybe even younger, so working out of this mindset also takes time.
Intuitive eating, unlike dieting, is not black and white. It exists in the gray area. It’s not a game you can win, but a journey with a lot of small wins that look like living your life to the fullest, enjoying food, connection and culture without the guilt and shame that comes with dieting.
The gray area can be scary because there isn’t a set of rules to follow and it allows for a diverse diet of all foods. This is what the gray area can sound like:
I can pursue health AND eat a donut for breakfast today
I can eat a nutritious diet AND trust my body to eat without restriction
I can be fit and active AND have rest days to honor what my body needs
I can eat breakfast AND still need a snack an hour later
I am full AND I know I can have another cookie whenever I want
I can be in a larger body AND still be healthful
The gray area creates a narrative where both can exist and replaces the ‘but’ with an ‘and.’
Getting rid of the restrictive mindset is one step in the right direction of making peace with food and our bodies. If this is difficult for you try challenging the thoughts you have around food.
Where does this belief come from? It is true 100% of the time? Is it allowing me to live the life I want?
Id this all-or-nothing mindset is holding you back from enjoying time out with friends, getting ice cream with your kids, enjoying date night with your partner or overall impacting the quality of your life. It is time to do some thinking!
If you need help we are here for you!
